Happy as a Clam

Of all the cars we’ve had the pleasure of test-driving over the years for the illustrious ramp magazine – which basically means driving around and having fun – the ones that stuck with me most were the Rolls-Royces. I’ve always had a soft spot for these anachronistic, time-warped giants with their starlit headliners and massive seats, their uncanny soundproofing. They feel like a message from a bygone era, when people didn’t rush from one appointment to the next every day and the auto industry wasn’t obsessed with efficiency, frugality and sustainability.

I’ve always looked forward to any encounter with a Rolls. Sure, the chances of spotting one in Berlin are slim, but it depends how you do the math. Personally, I go by the logic of that old blonde joke: “The chances of a blonde running into a dinosaur are always fifty-fifty. Either she runs into one or she doesn’t.”

Until now, I’d only seen Rolls-Royces in James Bond movies – or driven them myself, when ramp managed to get one and handed me the keys. The theme of this issue is “Happy as a Clam”, a phrase that originated in the northeastern United States but is also popular with Brits when they talk about being especially content. So British happiness, then – and that of course called for a Rolls. With two cars, an Aston Martin and a Rolls-Royce, we drove through Charlottenburg to an English club on Thüringer Allee, officially called the International Club Berlin and under the patronage of King Charles III. Even though I’ve lived in Berlin for over thirty years, I’d never heard of this club. It must be one of those secret sanctuaries where city dwellers go to escape the daily grind, a place where ­visitors lounge by the pool or hop around in tennis shorts.

The members, on the other hand, seemed quite taken by the elegant vehicles. Michael, ramp’s editor-in-chief, has a good instinct when it comes to choosing themes for new issues – sometimes a bit cryptic, always poetic. “Us, out on the road, in life, in the moment. All around, treasures gathered from the shoreline of life. Time to dive into the clam! Windows down, music on,” he wrote to me beforehand.

It was a glorious drive. The bass from the Aston Martin’s speakers was so powerful you couldn’t really call it a sound system – it was more like an air massage, gently massaging my ears from the inside and out. Maybe that was also thanks to my playlist: British hip-hop. With a light heart, I handed the sporty Aston Martin over to the boss – he’s always been a sucker for fast cars – and switched to the Rolls.

The club hosts had invited us in for tea. “Man, we really lucked out with the weather,” said our photographer.

German happiness often means finding the silver lining. “You got off easy,” the German doctor says to a patient with a broken leg – after all, it could have been worse. A fatalistic German saying goes: “It could always be worse.” In other words, disaster was narrowly averted. Lucky pig. In Germany, luck is a pig.

In Russia, happiness is as fickle as a cat ( ... )

→ Read the entire story in the new 
ramp #68 “Happy as a Clam”.